May 27, 2015

Glossary for my many brains

Pin Ball Brain: This is the slowest of my brains. Also the one that makes the most sense, in the long run. A thought crosses my mind and I sit with it. Explore it. It makes me think of something else that might or might not be related. I explore that. It reminds me of another topic - related, maybe. Eventually, on a good day, the bits of thoughts and information stored away result in an Aha! moment. Connections made.

Skitter Brain: This is the fastest and makes no sense at all. A mental comment. Another mental comment. Neither has anything to do with the other. "It's warm in here. I really need a pedicure. Yellow is my favorite color.  I'd like to take a nap. What the hell am I going to make for dinner"
Skitter brain - no rhyme or reason. It happens most when I'm sitting still and just doing nothing.

Squirrel Brain: Half way between Pin Ball and Skitter.  Semi-intelligent mental note leads to another, somewhat related observation, which reminds me of something else entirely and then it's "Ohhh, shiny!"

Watch a squirrel sometime - "Oh, a nut - I'll eat it but wait there's another one, maybe I should get that one and put it away for later.  Wait, wait - I think I'll run up and down that tree for a while. Oh look, a nut"

Just thought you might want to know this - for future reference - in case it ever comes up again.

I'm hungry.

May 24, 2015

It's a process

The original...
 

First 'final' edit...

Second 'final' edit...

I didn't do much editing on these. I like to apply 'structure' and 'detail' and I use 'center focus' to highlight the eyes...BB has gorgeous eyes - oh hell, all cats have gorgeous eyes. It's hard to take a bad photo of BB.

As an added bonus, er, example, here is the original photo that I turned into Saturday's artsy-fartsy post

May 23, 2015

May 22, 2015

I am so deeply enamoured of this cat...

(Click on the photo for the full effect)

May 21, 2015

Alone/Lonely - Certainly not the same thing


you can be one without the other. I've always defined lonely as wanting/missing something, or someone, you had before but don't have now. Make sense?

I am alone. A loner. Always have been, always will be. It's who I am - no problem. I don't really think of myself as an introvert. I like people. I can live without them tho.  I interact easily with anyone and everyone. And give me an audience, I'm singing and dancing.  I don't like crowds and I don't like people touching me without permission. I'm not really one to hug people I don't know well.  And sometimes I not comfortable with hugging people I DO know well.

This train of thought was promoted by a post from my friend Jennifer - and it reminded me of a poem I wrote a long time ago. About a particular person and my relationship with him. Rooting around in my old writings there is so much about that person and that relationship. How incredibly dysfunctional it was and I have repeated that dysfunction in every relationship I have ever been in.

Oh my old therapist and I would have a high old time if we could sit down and talk all this through. I suppose it all boils down to repeating the same behaviors, trying to get them right. Things is, you never get them right because they were wrong from the very beginning.  Ye-ha - I don't even want to think about this any more - makes my head hurt.

Anyway, this is the old poem I wrote sometime back in the mid-80's
Alone – but lonely?

  No – not that.......

exactly



Just apart from,

that is .............

not a part of.



He and I – alone,

us two, then

we’re together



He and I and

anyone else then

I’m alone and not

a part of



Not we or us or

together

Just me – alone

and he with them.



He a part of....

Me apart from...

Lonely – not exactly



Just alone,

Just one,

Just me.

May 17, 2015

This time it was totally her idea...

A week ago I posted pictures of Miss Frankie on the new, unused cat perch in my office. The only reason she was on it was because I put her there!

Today she has been on and off it all day - at first to get away from the noise machine (vacuum cleaner) and now I guess she just wants to spend time with me - I don't know. Maybe she can get a better view from here rather than the living room of the person hanging out on their balcony, just across from us but one floor down...

I'm just thrilled that she is using it...it sat on un-sat on for 3 months...
Uh-oh - the camera!
What's that? A human?
I'll just get comfy and keep an eye out...

May 12, 2015

Despite the fact that

it is 86ยบ and the sun is shining to beat the band, the humidity is only 40% and there is a 15mph breeze. All in all a fabuuulous day.

Unlike yesterday, when the temps were lower but the humidity was off the charts. Last night around midnight the temp was hovering in the mid 70's and the humidity was 88%! I had to turn the dreaded, hated a/c on.  I hate a/c - it gives me a headache.

Yesterday was such a lethargic day that I was the only one awake for most of it. It was such a draggy day that even Miss Frankie could not muster up the energy to hiss at BB. The two of them spent 6 hours (6 hours!) like this...

Today being nicer, while they are still sleeping the afternoon away, BB has the chest all to himself and Frankie is ensconced in the big recliner. My husband is in the bedroom napping and at 1:30 in the afternoon I am pretty much alone in the silence.

I should have lunch, do my crossword puzzle, then work on formatting the new volume of Today's Conversation.  I should also clean the bathroom and swiffer-mop the floors - they so need it.

Then again I can sit myself down at the dining table, with a cup of tea and just stare out the window at the trees blowing lazily in the breeze, and day dream the afternoon away....

May 8, 2015

While I edit - this one is for

Sharla
(as always, click to see the photo full size)

May 7, 2015

I was going to write something but I'm loving this picture of Frankie

(if you click on the photo you will see it in it's original size and her eyes look even more wonderful.)

May 4, 2015

At 2:34am

It’s 2:34am I decide to sleep
- but sleep has other plans.

Aggrieved! My brain voice shouts
- and laughs.
Aggrieved! in an indignant voice.

a-GGrieeeve-D!
soft the a; hard the g; long drawn out e’s –
Now punch that D.

It’s 3:34am – Am I asleep?
Awake? – My brain voice says
“aggrieved” – I feel a smile.

It’s 6:34am. I slept, I dreamed.
I laughed. I know I did.
I dreamt the word - aggrieved.

5/4/2015
Haven't a clue what it means. But it happened - just this way.


Anatomy of A Poem -  click it to see it full size.

A poem starts in my head. Then it gets written down - a real notebook, with a real pen. Much scratching out. When it gets typed it gets edited again - and again and again. There is the possibility that in a day or two or even weeks or months or years - it will get edited again.